I bet anyone would remember how much they wanted to be an adult as kids due to the fact we may not have had as much freedom to do what you wanted to; hanging out with friends as and when, have adult conversations, have people take you seriously and so on. Personally, I felt the exact same way (plus I really wanted to buy my own bottle of alcohol). Besides sitting down in the play room and pretend I was documenting some car crash scenario I made up with Hot Wheels or reading Archie comics, I wished and wished so hard to grow up so I could drive anywhere I wanted to and do everything I could. It was the taste of freedom that drove me nuts until I turned 19 and came over to the U.S. where YES! I AM FINALLY AWAY FROM THE CCTV EYES OF MY PARENTS AND AWAY I WENT TO HAVE FUN TILL DAWN.
It got to a point where the freedom made me greedy because although I could do anything I want whenever I wanted to (lawfully of course), I wasn't 21 yet and therefore felt like I was being held back. Again, I wished hard and waited till the moment I turned 21 and my glorious wish of going to the bars and buying alcohol hit me. I finally "unlocked" the devious joys of life and an opening of the forbidden doors to the adult life which threw me into a loop of wild nights and disappointing days. It sure was fun while it lasted but it did have some negative effects which I never saw coming; my values were flung out the window and along with that, my personality. I remember my partner telling me she felt like I was a stranger to her due to how badly I had been absorbed into this hell which was the day I felt like this car called life coming at speeds of more than 300km/h hit me in the gut and absolutely flung me out of the highway of "freedom" and into the ditch where I felt I was at my lowest. I felt like I had to think crystal hard about what I wanted to do about my future and look into the monstrous eyes of my mistakes and learn form it as I realized that the only person to blame and the only one who is responsible is me, myself, and I.
Pointing fingers left and right blaming others for your own actions are the actions of a child and if I were to be an adult, I sure as hell had to act like one. I have made my parents feel worried and my partner negatively affected by my actions and the only way to adult this situation was to own up to it. There sure were times when it was very hard for me to do so but despite all I had done, my parents and partner were there for me every step of the way; my parents made me realize that I am not alone in this world while my partner made me realize that I am responsible for my actions no matter if they were in the past or what I want to do in the future. I may not have been the best child or partner many times in the past but my family and my partner stuck by me throughout in which I owe them the big "A", which is to be accountable.
Throughout this journey of adulthood (and it has only been 2 years +), I started to realize that it is not as easy as I thought it would be but in life, there are no rewind buttons and certainly no such word as "total freedom". "Great power comes with great responsibility" is the very quote I heard in Spiderman which took me so long to realize how much of an impact those words would have on my life as an adult. Being an adult gives you so much freedom but it sure comes with a lot more responsibilities as well as the fact that I have to be accountable for my actions as my mum won't just appear and pull me out of situations.
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I have sailed out to sea and the only person to keep this boat afloat is myself. However, no sailboat will even make it past the shore without a crew and my crew members are my beloved family and my wonderful partner. I am grateful for all the friends I have but no one really knows me as well or even knows more about me than I do except my family and partner; the ones who stuck by me through thick and thin and are not afraid to tell me off when I do something I shouldn't or am supposed to even if it puts me in a difficult situation. It is better to rip the bandage off in one swift movement than to do it at my own comfortable tolerance over a long period of time. The Chinese call this "先苦后甜" which can be directly translated to first the bitter then the sweet".
To my family (yes and you too sister) as well as my beloved partner, I am grateful for all of you. Love you all! To my readers, tell me what you think or even share some of your experiences to me via the comments below and give it a like if you could relate it as well as share this post to those who could use a little read :) Remember to always be on the GOH and stay safe!
-Sean G.
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