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Writer's pictureSean Goh

3 Modern-day Parenting Habits To Adopt - My observations and the importance of future development.

*Before I begin, I would like to fully disclose that I am not a parent nor are my readers obligated to practice these nuances (if they are). My observations are based on years of observing parents both in America and Asia and decided to voice my opinion. Again, I respect everyone's unique methods of parenting and I would be happy if some of these methods would be adopted with minor adjustments to suit your child's needs.*



Happy times
Happy times. Image by: Joice Kelly via Unsplash.

Throughout my life, I've spent so much time with children and observed them in public where some parents would encourage their children to take "risks" and learn hands-on while others take the conservative route by trying to fit their child into a cookie-cutter world with concepts from their own upbringing back in the 60s.Here are some methods that can be adopted:



Child utilizing an iPad for education
Child utilizing an iPad for education. Image by: Robo Wunderkind via Unsplash.

1: Encourage the (right) use of technology.

Growing up into my teens when the popularity of the iPad began to take steep rise, especially among parents, I would often hear sour remarks from the general public pointing out how these parents are neglecting their child and hindering critical cognitive growth with the iPad. I used to agree with what the majority said, even the news. However, my perspectives changed as I got older and wiser; how much do we know about what these parents are going through? Are they tired and fatigued from work and simply cannot keep up with the child's energy? Are iPad's really that bad on children? Well, I have a couple views on this.


The first being, humans are meant to evolve. Are we going to go on about how driving is making everyone fat and lazy and that walking is the way, like how "our ancestors did it"? We don't, because people have places to be in a time where the macroeconomics of world is dependent on travel. The same thought applies to this situation; are we going to make kids enjoy like the good old days and compromise their ability to absorb as much knowledge as possible with mediums that make it super accessible in a rapidly progressing and very different world.


Of course there are right and wrong ways to execute this. The right being adopting a balance between technological and real-world exposure like taking them to the local zoo and to trave and the wrong which is using it as a means to neglect your child. There are so many wonderful apps and sources to enhance your child's cognitive growth but without a balance, it simply wouldn't work out well.



kids having fun!
Kids having fun! Image by: Robert Collins via Unsplash

2: The "good-old-days" propaganda.

There's nothing wrong about reminiscing the "good-old-days". However, those days will never be sustainable to replicate in today's world. Most parents, especially in Asia, were very likely brought up in a time of struggle and big responsibilities with their set of fatigued and iron-fisted parents. I would argue that adopting those measures of keeping them disciplined and "in-line" as well as discourage their curious questioning can heavily hinder their ability to absorb and think for themselves, as well as their ability to adapt to ever-changing situations. It's evident to today's Asian adults where they would very often shy away from questions and growing into our buddy the "yes-man (or woman)" to avoid conflict.


I, on the other hand, was brought up by a very forward-thinking mother who herself was brought up in a more "western" environment and an entrepreneurial father who had a more conservative Asian upbringing. I can vividly remember my father's parenting which was more straight-forward and conservative while my mother would always make me question everything. I guess that's how I grew up to becoming a more forward-thinking and analytical man. The takeaway to encourage kids to start thinking for themselves at a young age with actions and consequences rather than blatantly giving instructions based on your own upbringing to cut corners.



Kids talking
Kids talking. Image by: Charlein Gracia via Unsplash.

3: Expose them to the world.

I made this very eye-opening observation when I moved to the United States when I saw how children were being raised there. I saw parents talking to their kids in full-sentences and allowing them to speak for themselves. On the other hand, traditional asian parents would avoid striking conversations but rather give instructions and speaking for their kid on who they are. This was very evident when I saw how my niece and nephew grow up in Washington D.C. At a very early age, they were both able to speak in full sentences with their curious mind and have conversations with other people much older than them on their own, seemingly networking to gain friends and talk about their proud achievements.


On the contrary, many asian kids tend to be very reserved and quiet which would follow them into their adulthood. It's understandable as Asia developed very differently than western countries where older generations endured struggle to ensure their future generation get safety and security. But the line often gets blurred out when they don't have the future in mind and lack adaptational skills.



Father and son
Father and son. Image by: Kelli McClintock

To conclude, Every parent has their own parenting style that works for them and I have barely any right to tell them how to raise their child. However, I believe these suggestions will give your child an edge going into the future which will open so much more doors for them. Through technological adaptation, forward thinking, and critical exposure, the character and cognitive development of a child will be limitless.



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