Today marks a new year for change and progress, along with some excess baggage from 2020 we all wish to leave behind. Along with that, I'm sure some of us carry along our imperfections from way beyond these couple years; be it bad habits, regrets, lies, broken promises, and the list goes on. On my end, I sure have had a rough couple years since I could walk into a bar. However, the past year for me hit the hardest.
I remember going into every new year thinking I could change for the better, in a way, which I pilled huge goals and achievements one on top of the other which eventually added pressure to the pot until it could no longer hold itself. Every time I set an astronomical goal, I could never really deliver which made me feel very disappointed in myself which then lead to depression and the act of kicking it to the curb. In the process, I would admit that I've certainly hurt those who are close to me and believed that I am more than who I am, at least that's how I feel this instant.
My mother recently (literally today) pulled me out of my clouded mind and said things I definitely did not want to hear, but had to. It felt like it was a huge wake up call not only to save myself but to save everyone around me from further collateral damage. I share my thoughts here with you not because I'm sobbing on my desk but to keep myself accountable with the watchful eyes of the general public. Everyone here is like an investor to me (as I earn ad revenue from your visit) and in return, it's time for me to deliver on my end.
This year, I want to set attainable goals. I used to set huge goals for myself which made me feel very depressed because those goals seemed impossible to achieve that it intimidated me to the point I hid from it while I still told people that I could achieve those goals. It felt like I was lying not only to my loved ones but also to myself. The goals I want to set for myself will be goals within my reach as anything beyond that is pure fiction that would distract me from the fundamental stepping stones, said Jordon Belford.
Another goal I want to set is to be a more honest, and up-front person to everyone around me. Referring to the previous paragraph, I felt like I "conned" those around me by painting a picture of me as an idealistic version of who I am. The effects it had on me ricocheted on those around me which has made me look back and think "what do I do now?". From this point forward, I want to not only be honest with others around me, but also to myself that the real world is tough and it's time to live in the now rather than the ideal future.
The third, and final goal, is to put my bum to work. The one recipe to achieve my goals is to work for those attainable goals. With huge fictional goals, I stress myself so hard that when my family and my girlfriend ask me about the progress, I would simply hide myself behind my online computer games and game the days and nights away until it's too late to turn back; time waits for no one. If I have something on my mind I want to get done, I should act on it immediately.
With that, here are my new year's resolutions:
Get a real working experience
Be honest
Listen more than I talk to absorb knowledge
Be more open-minded in different environments
Do the work
Better time management
Be open about my feelings
Live a healthier lifestyle
Build a better relationship with my dad
Don't push aside those who are important in my life
Channel negative energy into positive energy
Focus on what's within my control and find realistic solutions.
I would also like to apologize to the ones who were affected by my actions and the way I live which includes my family members and my girlfriend. I have had many wrongs over the past year and this year, I want to work on myself to become a better me with all your help. And those who feel the same as I do, it's time to take a breather and be honest with oneself. I hope that everyone will have a good year ahead and I wish everyone great health and success.
- Sean.