Growing up in a very Chinese environment (attending Chinese Primary School, basically living in a very Chinese community outside of home, etc...) the one lesson I have taken away from the entire experience was "how can I be good enough" not only academically but also how smart I am socially. To elaborate on this point, it basically means how can I be taken seriously by adults; people who are older generally think that they are superior in terms of knowledge because "they have eaten more salt than we have consumed rice". This leads to the youth/ adults, like me, who aren't sure if we are qualified to be adults while being around other adults because we fear that we are not taken seriously enough.
This brings us to a little equation I came up on the spot that is defined as:
Feeling like you're not taken seriously + feeling knowledgeably inferior = not voicing out anything and becoming a yes man/ woman for the rest of the conversation.
Hence, caring too much to do anything about it because the wall of fear we have in out hearts and not our minds; you think and know it is a great idea or something you would like to contradict but deep down you fear the judgment of "ow what do you know?" that would later plow through your dignity.
It feels like a waste of good ideas among the youth of our society if others are not willing to take a moment and consider the opinion of the youth or even minorities of our society based upon their perspective in the life they have lived so far. I would say that there are no right or wrong solutions in life but rather an endless cycle of hypothesis built upon outcomes of another hypothesis that are constantly challenged.Technology as we know it today will not even exist if we left the inventing to the older generation who seek comfort and consistency in life.
In my own experience, I was that shy little boy before coming to America; I feared voicing out my opinions let alone challenging the opinion of others in fear of humiliation that I am not taken seriously. Once I got accustomed to society here in the States, I was always given the opportunity to voice my opinions even if they weren't the best. I was given a chance and through this, even when I made some mistakes. I have noticed a growth in my understanding of so many things and personal opinions I had before because we learn more from our mistakes than our successes. Also, we learn more when our own opinions are challenged or validated by others.
My advice to everyone back home in Malaysia or even those from anywhere who feel oppressed this way like I did, take a breather, know that this does not mean the end of the world, and let's move forward. If Nelson Mandela and MLKJ just stayed quiet and never did anything, the life we lived today will be very different from what it could have been.
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We all have sought for validation at some point of our lives but, at the end of the day, we shouldn’t let others define our worth or who we are. There are always going to be people out there who seek to drag us down or discredit our success. But as long as we stay true to who we are, commit, and never give up, everything will eventually work out in the end. Or at least I would like to think that everything happens for a reason. Great piece! 😉
Short but sweet and accurately put. Personally, I can relate to this but I'm learning to grow forth from this toxic side of our community.
Thank you for writing about this. I’m sure many people from all walks of life and of all ages face the same issue. I’d like to believe that it has to do with the culture and environment one grows up in, besides the family influence (by the patriach and/or matriarch). As such, it is inevitable that we grow this fear of speaking our minds. Fear of being wrong or saying the wrong thing and therefore we shied away. I also feel that communication fails because we are too impatient to listen when another speaks (as if we know it all...lol). If I may add, an objection or rejection may be due to the other person not having understood the subjec…